Brad Pitt will NOT play Moriarty in New Sherlock Holmes Movie

Watson, may I introduce to you the Director's ex-wife.

It was reported in yesterday's Mirror that noted vaudeville performer Mr Bradley Pitt will play the part of Professor Moriarty in a moving image light show version of the Sherlock Holmes stories. But, in a twist that might have been concocted by the conniving and dastardly Professor himself, this insinuation appears to be nothing more than a scurrilous fabrication.

A statement from the Brothers Warner asserts that no such casting has been made. Indeed, according to the famed electronic almanac of actors, the Internet Movie Database, the character of Moriarty is entirely absent. It is, if we may play on the vernacular, a case of 'no Pitt, Sherlock'. Theatre-goers must content themselves with the talents of Mr Robert Downey Jr as the eponymous detective, and Jude Law Esquire as his Aesclepian companion Dr John Watson.

The moving picture will be expounded this very Yule. Those who find themselves moistened with anticipation can view a 'trailer' (which we believe to be some kind of zoetropian illusion) here.