Jacko Denies Skin Cancer Claims

Odds on Michael Jackson actually appearing at his fifty-plus London gigs are lengthening by the day. The singer's camp have strenuously denied reports over the weekend that Jackson had been diagnosed with skin cancer. Though he is seeing a dermatologist, the situation is not thought to be serious. The singer's physician, spokesperson and, er, "business manager", Dr Tohme R. Tohme (sic), protested perhaps a little too much when he assured that Jackson "doesn't have any diseases whatsoever". So, assuming he beats the (alleged) big C, that pending lawsuit, and any other as yet unforseen obstacles, the gigs will go ahead without a hitch. (Image / Herschell Hershey)