Petty Crime-Supporting Officers

No longer the “plastic bobbies” of popular repute, PCSOs in the Met have clearly been far too successful in their work. Having been deployed to purge the streets of all those little crimes and misdemeanours caused by bored kids, the powerless policemen have done such a good job that they’ve resorted to getting up to mischief themselves. The reason? Boredom, apparently. A Scotland Yard investigation found that more than half of police misconduct cases were committed by PCSOs, an anagram that should now surely be reworked (and more effectively than our woeful effort above).

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