"Let's go home, Kang. They're all idiots."
You've gotta love local newspapers. This quote from the Islington Gazette comes from a local resident who filmed and reported mysterious lights in his local skies:
After the New Year's countdown at around ten past midnight I went outside with my brother and we saw these strange bright orange glowing objects in the sky.
Using the clues in the statement, can you employ your knowledge of New Year's traditions to work out what the credulous fellow might have seen? The Islington Gazette, a robust and tenacious organ unwilling to jump to conclusions no matter how obvious, contacted the Royal Astronomical Society for advice. It turns out, would you believe, that some celebratory pyrotechnic might have been the cause.
You know, it's a good job we're getting that third runway at Heathrow. If the press are anything to go by, we'll soon need to support an intergalactic fleet of alien visitors. Strange craft were spotted recently from the Oxford Tube; there's the notorious wind farm incident, of course; and a chap in Peterborough snapped a large glowing disc in the sky, moving at incredible speed. It later turned out to be the match ball at the West Bromwich game.
Our alien overlords are getting increasingly crap.