Rowdy Pensioners Terrorise Estate

Actually, that's an exaggeration. No actual terror has been reported. But a group of pensioners who congregate on the benches in the middle of the Horning Close Estate in Mottingham have been issued a warning by the local housing association – keep the racket down, or lose your benches!

Forget marauding hoodies; the oldies, ranging from 60 to 90 years old, have been upsetting local residents with their loud banter. There are no reports of them robbing people, joy-riding or throwing fireworks, but the housing association clearly wanted to nip any trouble in the bud before the 'freedom card mob' got out of hand.

Since the story broke in the press, the housing association has backed down, and the residents of the sheltered housing round about are free to congregate wherever they want. But London teens take note: you don't have a monopoly on park benches and asbos!

Photo of an unrelated pensioner on a different bench, courtesy of Monocle’s Photostream under the Creative Commons license.