London On The Cheap

Autumn is a time for changes, and things are a bit odd in the world of cheap London fun this week. The audience is playing the music, our insides are on the outside, activists are stuck in the wrong century, and people are dancing where they shouldn't. Get your shallow pockets out there and enjoy the season of flux.

Friday: Dance Umbrella remains as good as ever at providing something bonkers for your lunch break. In this case, the tango goes to the bathroom. Not in a public convenience, mind, but in the window display of Bathstore on Baker Street. The tango's lavish sexuality has never felt quite so uncomfortable. 12.30, 1, 1.30, 2pm; continues over the weekend.Saturday: Party along with 8.5% of London at Eid in the Square. A few days after the fact, granted, but the celebration isn't over yet. There's a heavy emphasis on music — everything from rai to rap — but Trafalgar Square is certain to host plenty of good food as well. 1pm-5pm.Sunday: We love the Roxy because they screen whatever they feel like, and like us, they have Paul Newman on the brain right now. Give up your Sunday to the late and great with a treble bill. Only £3 for all the blue eyes you can handle. 2-10pm.Monday: A century ago today, a group of women rushed Parliament, breaching the chambers of power with demands for change. There's not much chance of getting inside today, but show up in your finest period Suffragette-wear to mark the memory. Figuring there's no better way to celebrate one historic rally than with another one, the organisers of Climate Rush ask us to keep speaking out, this time for the earth. Sure to be miles more stylish than Climate Camp. Meet at 5.30pm.

Tuesday: If you have any interest in life drawing, here's an opportunity to draw more of it than ever before. As part of the Big Draw, the Dana Centre — still hung up on the aesthetics of our bodies after this week's tattoo evening — is hosting a life drawing class in which the models' MRI-scanned interiors will be projected back onto their skin. Creepy, in the best kind of way. 7-9pm.

Wednesday: Just in case we haven't given you sufficient warning about Chocolate Week: we'll be knee deep in the stuff by today, so dive in. Of particular note this afternoon is Fortnum & Mason, where in addition to sampling new products to your heart's content (almost), you can chat with Gerard Coleman, the "high priest" of l'Artisan du Chocolat. 11am-4pm.Thursday: The group undGretel? are bringing the Kazoo Orchestra of Great Britain to Toynbee Studios, and you beautiful people are the star performers. The idea of paying a fiver (or unspecified student concession) to hear yourself play might not have won you over yet, but wait, there's more: the kazoo is yours, free! Sign us up. 7.30pm til late.Or, you could stay in and tango in your own bathroom. Careful in those heels.

Image of a scavenger after LOTC's own heart courtesy of Jennaphoenix via the Londonist flickrpool.

Check out London is Free for more ideas of things to do for nowt. Check the websites for more information.