If you’re an estate agent reading this, then:

a) quite frankly you should be looking on job websites instead
b) if you think you’ve got it bad with the credit crunch, spare a thought for Waqas Malik, the East-London estate agent who was kidnapped and tortured after sacking an employee.

Ambreen Gul, 23, was found guilty of false imprisonment at Southwark Crown Court yesterday. Her three accomplices, all of a similarly tender age, were found guilty of a smorgasbord of grizzly crimes. The court heard how Mr Malik was kidnapped, bound, blindfolded*, beaten, threatened with an imitation firearm, pistol-whipped, blackmailed and drugged. You can’t accuse them of not being thorough.

The BBC reports that Ms Gul, concerned about Mr Malik’s deteriorating condition, drove him home to his wife and accused him of drunkenness and sexual assault. As you’d expect, the lacerations and bruises raised suspicion with hospital doctors.

Gul was jailed for 10 years, for what the judge described as a “wicked, premeditated and brutal plan”.

* presumably with one of those big fat ties estate agents wear

Image taken with thanks from Violater3’s photostream, under the Creative Commons Attribution License.