This weekend column is brought to you by the founders of Niceties Tokens, Liz and Pete of Team Nice.

39. Consider

I stepped off the tube at Bank the other morning to let some people off, and because it was so packed it took ages. All of a sudden the driver announces that he is about to shut the doors and I yelp and (in a ‘every man for himself’ style) dive back on – to which a gentleman pushes me back and says loudly and disapprovingly “Can you let people off the train first?” I did try and say “he is going to shut the doors” but actually, even to my own ears, it sounded like a whining mongrel that had had its tail trodden on. So that chap most probably walked away and shook his head, thinking “why are people such morons?”

Obviously I don’t know, but what if that incident reconfirmed this guy’s thought that: Commuting is a challenge best faced with a strong defensive attitude because (with the exception of himself) all commuters are twats.

This may be a contentious issue, seeing as there are 800,000 members of the Facebook group ‘I secretly want to punch slow moving people in the back of the head’ and 3,000 of the group ‘No I can’t move down the carriage, THERE IS NO F*CKING ROOM’, but can all those members honestly say that they have never walked slowly down a street? Perhaps when they are talking on the phone, or getting something out of their bags? And as for moving down the carriage – well seeing as the majority of commuters listen to music or read or both whilst travelling, perhaps we are not always aware if we need to move down the carriage or not.

If we all have moments of being a bit inconsiderate does that make us bad people?

But then, does it matter that so many of us are defensive commuters? Possibly not, but may be it puts us in a baddish mood that we needn’t be in?

Hmmm.

I hear that the Easter Bunny and her parents spent Good Friday decorating hard-boiled eggs to make gifts for people out and about on the South Bank on Easter Monday… They will be left in suitable locations to be found and kept (but not eaten as they will taste of felt tips).

By Liz Akers