A day after possibly the strongest entry for the most risible right-wing attempt at 'humour' since Jim Davidson was allowed near prime time television, Boris Johnson emerged from his summer holidays (it's silly season all year round for him really) and set out his stall for taking on Ken Livingstone next May. And what a stall it is.
Thrill to his delight at being able to buy mango juice in newsagents! Listen to his boast of fathering the genetic equivalent of a "UN peacekeeping force" (take that Guardian-reading lefties, he's no racist!). Join in his fight against thugs on buses and stand up to them the next time you see some chip-throwing miscreant with a knife under his coat (don't worry, under Mayor Boris the streets will be congestion-free so your ambulance will arrive quicker). Look forward to getting on the property ladder once the boroughs are liberated from Livingstone's Stalinist social housing targets. And finally an end to 'deals with left-wing dictators' (but leaving the door open for deals with right-wing ones, dictators of no fixed ideology and people who are generally a bit mental but get the job done). As ever, there's a full synopsis of today's County Hall speech at ConservativeHome.