Tonight in Richmond, Portillo is bringing democracy to the people as he hosts an event modelled on the American primary in which three candidates will compete to become the Conservative Party's parliamentary candidate for Richmond Park.
The candidates will compete "in an X Factor-style contest".
Early rumours suggest that ecological megamillionaire and hot tip to win even though he was once quoted as saying that he would only vote Conservative if he was drugged, Zac Goldsmith, will be singing Ultravox's "Vienna" while Kulveer Ranger, who was a lead delivery manager for Oystercard will be singing "Shaddup ya face". High flying businesswoman Sam Manning-Smith will sing Art Garfunkel's "Bright Eyes".
Instead of getting a recording contract and a short lived career in the music industry, the winner will face Liberal Democrat MP Susan Kramer at the next general election.
We wonder what other TV formats the Conservatives can pick up to determine their parliamentary candidates... The Krypton Factor... Takeshi's castle... WWE WrestleMania...
Anyone eligible to vote in the constituency can attend. However, before you rush to the phone, we regret to inform you that all the tickets have already gone. You're going to have to do something interesting this evening.