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Couldn't Escape If We Wanted To: Hallelujah!

By Londonist_adrian Last edited 121 months ago
Couldn't Escape If We Wanted To: Hallelujah!
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Tomorrow night BBC1 will host a mighty contest of song to find the UK's Eurovision entry. We're the last country to choose their entry, so we know exactly what we're up against (as the line-up draw has already taken place).

The UK entry will be performed at 19th position (6 songs from the end), sandwiched between a lumpy drag queen singing a nonsensical drinking song over a tinny dance track for Ukraine and Romania's six blokes singing about love in six different languages.

So which of these tracks do you think would fit nicely between that likely line up?

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Song 1 - Atomic Kitten's Liz McClarnon is Happy! So very happy! And her song is called (Don't it make you) Happy! She's very enthusiastic about Eurovision and the song, a fairly bouncy pop number, jaunts merrily by.

Song 2 - Brian Harvey, that ex-East 17 lad who fell under his own car, returns with I Can, a gospel-style ballad very much in the style of R. Kelly's I Believe I Can Fly. It never really soars though, merely floating in a life-affirming way.

Song 3 - Big Brovaz are hoping to bring their Big Bro Thang to Europe. What exactly their thing is remains unclear, as the track is a mish-mash of rap and hip-hop with some rock and synths thrown in. Add to that that, as this man points out, acts singing about themselves in Eurovision generally flop. That said, it's quite a catchy number and certainly different from that Ukrainian drag queen.

Song 4 - Cyndi is French and a newcomer. Her song is a big, soaring ballad called I Leave My Heart which owes a lot to You Raise Me Up and Scottish folk tunes. It's rather pretty and sweet and, if Cyndi performs it well, could be quite eye-catching.

Song 5 - Scooch were Steps for those that wanted even cheaper tinny pop music, and hope to follow in the footsteps of other boy-girl combos like Bucks Fizz and Brotherhood of Man. Scooch perform Flying the Flag - a tune very Vengaboys in style with added comedy sexual innuendo and an airline theme. It is either absolutely rubbish or absolutely brilliant.

Song 6 - Justin Hawkins of The Darkness is joined by the implausibly named Beverlei Brown to sing falsetto jaunty shuffly-rock tune, They Don't Make Them Like They Used To. The song may refer to the fact that current UK entries are not nearly as good as previous UK entries, and does nothing to disprove this interpretation. It does, however, have comedy high notes.

So, it's up to you, The Great British Viewing Public to decide. Londonist don't really know what to recommend, as none of them say 'Eurovision winning tune' to us. We'd laugh if Scooch were chosen, and then we'd cry a little too, and we also quite like the idea that French girl Cyndi representing the UK.

Last Updated 16 March 2007

Talia

No, no. It's all about Hawkins and Brown.

But yes they all scream bottom 5.

Adrian

Hawkins & Brown / Justin & Beverlie scream it most! They shriek it!

Wolf Solent

We really are fucked, aren't we? The big thing everyone seems to have missed with Lordi is that they showed that the only way forward is to treat the whole thing as the joke that it is.

Colleen

The only song that was in the running was the one sung by Cyndi. It captured the full Celtic feel of Great Britain. I am not an avid watcher of Eurovision, even though I have an acute love of music, but the selection on TV last night was so poor I thought I would give the show a chance.

The plastic look and commercial sound of Scooch in a climate of ever growing concern over the environment and all it was proposing in their song gives out the wrong message entirely to the world population. The attributes of the country the song represents should be visible and if the bright, plastic, false, affluent feel they were showing speaks for Great Britain I am truly amazed.