Mayor Ken has blockaded himself inside a safe house in the country. Why? To escape the hired goons that Shell and BP and Texaco are sending around to break his kneecaps.
Ken has signed a deal with Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez to receive oil relief for the poor of London. Patterned after home heating oil agreements Chavez made with Boston and New York, Venezuela's nationalized oil industry will offer a 20 per cent reduction in the price of petrol for London's buses.
As a result, Londoners on income support will receive half-price bus and tram travel.
According to the Mayor's website, the scheme should take effect in July. The fare reduction will be programmed onto special Oyster cards.
Do we like Hugo Chavez?
He is the new Fidel Castro, after all. You know how like Keira Knightly is the new Winona Ryder, and Winona Ryder was the new Elizabeth Taylor - and so on? You always need a fanatical socialist lurking around – its good for business. And he rebounded from the US-backed coup attempt in 2002 in even better shape than before – which is very slick and cool.
And he knows politics. Not just power, but POLITICS – the only performance art, that can actually lead to a world war. And cheap oil for the poor? Nice political move.
It's hard to deny that Chavez' "Bolivarian Revolution" in Venezuela is based on a genuine dedication to the well-being of his country and other regularly exploited South American countries. In actually keeping the profits from its oil wealth, Venezuela is becoming a prosperous country.
But there's is still something slightly unnerving about getting fossil fuel for cheap. And, worse, getting it with a smile.
It keeps bringing to mind a friendly drug dealer saying: "The first one's free."