Here's one that'll shift some papers. Prisoners are being kitted out with email.
PRISONERS are to be given email access for the first time in a bid to cut reoffending. The project is designed to help inmates learn new skills for their release and to keep in touch with family and friends. A pilot scheme will start at Wandsworth jail in South London, but only when a system is in place to prevent "potential abuses".
It's (insert fresh 2007 buzzword here) gone mad! In our day (Saturday) the nearest prisoners got to the Internet was after they were strung up by the neck when they were posted on YouTube.
Prisoners will not be able to surf the net and it is understood all outgoing and incoming messages will be scanned. A Home Office spokesman said: "All prisoners will have access to is the specific training course the education department of the jail has explicitly assigned them." If successful, the scheme will extend to six other London jails. Email or the internet have so far not been available to inmates amid fears they could be used to plot escapes or help sex offenders access child porn.
They should make them watch the live feed of Celebrity Big Brother no matter how many Human Rights conventions it breaks. Mark our words - six months from now they'll be downloading themselves right into pensioners living rooms and stealing their pin money.