23 March 2017 | 11 °C

Northern Line Running Four Years Late

By sizemore Last edited 122 months ago
Northern Line Running Four Years Late
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Rumour has it that the SAS use the Northern Line to break new recruits. Put 'em down the holes in High Barnet and Edgware then pick up the pieces in Morden at the end of the day. They rebuild them as unflinching fighting machines because they know the worst is behind them. Every now and then you spot one of the few who didn't make it, mumbling and lost on the escalators at Kennington.

But it IS all set for improvement! In 2011.

"The thought that the hundreds of thousands of commuters who use the line on a daily basis have no prospect of an improved service until 2011 is genuinely shocking, especially at a time when they are asked to pay more," [Roger Evans, the Conservative deputy chair of the London Assembly transport committee] said. "The fact that delays are increasing despite remedial works goes to show that commuters on the Misery Line' really are treated as second-class citizens."

Only another four years of it though! Because we're supposed to believe that in 2011 the whole of London will be transformed into a shiny clean utopia... and just in time for the Olympics. That's handy. The trains will all run on time, traffic will move smoothly all over London, homeless people will be coached to Glasgow so as not to clutter up the place and we'll win Gold in everything! Especially at making sure the wild promises of the Olympic Bid match up to the reality exactly.

The only problem will be the constant stench of frying bacon as pigs get caught in powerlines over the capital.

Last Updated 11 January 2007