Do you know your Sexual Orientation Regulations? Sounds like they should involve a spinning bottle and a Twister mat, but it turns out they simply ensure that gay people get the same rights as everyone else. Opposition to them was quashed despite yesterday's protest:
New rules outlawing businesses from discriminating against homosexuals have been upheld in the House of Lords. A challenge led by Lord Morrow of the Democratic Unionist Party failed by a margin of three to one. He had argued that the rules forced people to choose between obedience to God and obedience to the state...
Because it's so difficult these days to decide which thumb we're supposed to be under. The one we elected or the mythological one.
Critics say the new rules mean hotels cannot refuse to provide rooms for gay couples, and religious groups would be obliged to rent out halls for "gay wedding" receptions. They also argue a Christian, Jewish or Muslim printer could be forced to print a flyer for a gay night club, or a teacher would have to break the law to promote heterosexual marriage over homosexual civil partnership.
And the problem is? Oh, hang on... it's only a problem if you're a small minded, tunnel visioned, intolerant fuck.
"The regulations threaten to override the conscience and free speech of Christians and others who object to homosexual practice."
Others? Like who, the Nazi Party? Wait a minute... is that shambling ghoul behind you Norman Tebbit? Once he's on your side there's not much of an argument left. Not that his own argument made a whole lot of sense on its own:
"Black is about being. Sexual orientation is about being. And we would not wish to discriminate against people for being black nor on grounds of their sexual orientation. The concerns which are being expressed this evening are primarily about sodomy rather than about sexual orientation - that is doing, not being."
Someone put him back in his crypt.