On Monday Charlie Brooker wrote a heart-felt piece for Comment is Free entitled When it comes to psychics, my stance is hardcore: they must die alone in windowless cells:
The audiences that psychics prey on are equally infuriating, albeit less deserving of contempt. They're just disappointing, like a friend who's let you down. Often, they're simply grieving and desperate. I mean, if you want to believe in psychics, fine. You're a dangerous idiot and I wouldn't trust you to operate a spoon without putting an eye out ... but fine. Your choice. Delude yourself silly. Your world is probably more fun than the real one. There's no death, just an afterlife filled with magic spirits who like to communicate with eerie, ugly, otherwise-unemployable bottom-of-the-barrel "showmen" back on Earth.
It's a pity there's no TV show where Brooker is unleashed on these bottom feeders - watching him put one in a headlock would be worth the license fee alone. We'd send him out to track down the people responsible for Psychic Private Eyes whose 'cast' are currently 'investigating' deaths in London:
Since Ricky's body was found in the Thames in October 1997, his mother Sukhdev Reel has claimed he was victim of a racist killing. An inquest into his death recorded an open verdict, and no evidence of an unlawful killing was ever found. Nearly 10 years later, three psychics have looked into the case for a programme called Psychic Private Eyes for cable television channel Zone Reality. Publicity for the show states it "conducts real life psychic investigations into baffling murders and disappearances, using the unique skills of Colin Fry, Tony Stockwell and the remarkable female psychic medium TJ Higgs". One of the psychics, Colin Fry, was attempting to find clues to the murder of Croydon model Sally-Ann Bowman, but did not find anything conclusive.
Seriously, who watches this shit?