26 April 2017 | 9.1 °C

The Colour of Money is Blue

By sizemore Last edited 125 months ago
The Colour of Money is Blue
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The police are having a rotten week. They still haven't haven't caught the Ripper, but got caught themselves while being wankers on the phone, have to wear head mounted sex cams, had their own personal data nicked and found that you can't go pulling guns on people just because they work for The Sun.

It's almost as if they've come under the influence of a malevolent entity. Perhaps it's simply a case of them being riddled with Body Thetans. If only there was some way to Audit them and offer release.

Good job then that it turns out the City of London Police are such good pals with the Church of Scientology:

THE City of London Police is conducting an inquiry after it was revealed that officers had been "groomed" with gifts worth thousands of pounds from the Church of Scientology. Officers accepted invitations to the premier of Mission Impossible 3 in Leicester Square in April and to a £500-a-head charity dinner where MI3 star and world famous Scientologist Tom Cruise was the guest of honour. The force was also provided with free use of a £5,000 a night jazz band and the Scientologists donated £6,250 to the City of London Children's Charity, according to reports by The Guardian and Daily Mail.

Grooming is such a harsh word these days - it has too many connotations with online paedophilia and even if LRon is a lot older than most serving police officers that's no reason to jump to conclusions. We can't see why we can't just call this good old fashioned honest bribery.

But to what end? Well with his career looking more and more ropey perhaps the diminutive closet case Cruise is hoping to bypass the police force's minimum height requirements and find a place on the beat. Don't laugh. It's no more of a Mission Improbable than him pretending to be a fighter pilot or a Samurai.

Last Updated 23 November 2006