Can't Get You Out Of My Arse

A Madame Tussaud's worker faces the sack after posing in compromising positions with a wax Kylie. The Sun has published mildly amusing photos of Bryan Boniface locked in a clinch with the diminutive singer's derriere (which we can't reproduce for copyright reasons - follow the link).

In others, taken during night shifts, he FONDLES Penelope Cruz and J-Lo. He is also seen beating up Sven Goran Eriksson, throttling London mayor Ken Livingstone and grabbing disabled Professor Stephen Hawking.

All our fantasies in just one night. Lucky fellow.

According to The Sun, the pictures were leaked by Bryan's partner, Sofia Oliveira, after a bust-up. It's all quality tabloid fodder, complete with RANDOM capitalisation. But the real interest here is why they chose the moronic headline 'Rudey Wax Kisses Kylie's Bum', when the required wordplay is surely 'Bry Should Be So Lucky'. Standards are clearly slipping in the gutter press.