Celebs.
In the theatre.
Are quite bad enough.
(Val Kilmer in The Postman Always Rings Twice immediately springs to mind.)
But. But.
Jade Goody.
As in, Jade Goody.
She isn't even a celeb.
She is to make an appearance in The Vegemite Tales.
We wonder if this is perhaps worse than the time someone thought that it would be a good idea to put Abi Titmuss in an Arthur Miller play, and she forgot her lines.
It certainly won't be half as funny.
The stunt (for that is all it can be) is apparently part of a new reality TV show for Living TV, called Jade's PA, in which hopefuls try to secure a contract working for Goody naïve young fools are ensnared for life by this pig-faced monster and are chained by the ankles to eternal misery and suffering; forced into bondage and expected to snap to her every whim and attend to her every flight of fancy. (Lord only knows how this terrible fate could make for interesting programming.)
In order to do this they must complete certain "challenges" - one of these being to contrive some way of getting Goody onto the West End stage (without anyone noticing, we assume).
If anyone is actually interested in catching this bizarre freakshow spectacle, it is next Tuesday (the 19th) at The Venue, just off Leicester Square.
We advise you take some rotten cabbages or tomatoes or something and pelt everyone involved for ever allowing this farcical notion to get further than a particularly ugly doodle on a TV executive's notepad.
Images from Broken Piggy Bank's and s2art's Flickr photostreams
