Local Hacks Prepare To Dust Off 'Make The Grade' Cliché

M@
By M@ Last edited 133 months ago
Local Hacks Prepare To Dust Off 'Make The Grade' Cliché
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The yoof of today. They’re just too brainy for their own good. Take Peter and Paula Imafidon, a pair of twins from Waltham Forest. They both just passed a GCSE in statistics. Age six.

Jesus.

When we were six, the closest we got to statistical expertise was assessing the likelihood of getting caught taking a leak in the park. Actually, that’s still about the extent of it.

Meanwhile, at the other end of town, another pair of twins are celebrating an A* bonanza. Jonathan and Andrew Hackett of Richmond College amassed 20 top grades between them.

Then there’s Princess Eugenie, who despite the disadvantages of inbreeding managed two A*s, four As and three Bs.

Elsewhere, 16 year-old Anne Mullan managed 16 GCSEs at grades A or A*. How do you manage to study 16 subjects? Like, how many ologies are there? Her relatively underachieving classmate Sarah Crosby “also managed a haul of 16 GCSEs - three A*s, ten As and three Bs”. Thicko.

Londonist remains happy with our single grade F from the University of Life. It’s the taking part that counts.

Last Updated 24 August 2006

David Cantrell

So some babies passed a GCSE. Big deal. It's nigh-on impossible to officially fail a GCSE. The G grades they got mean that they managed to write their names (spelt wrong, but at least written) and not cover the paper in too many bogies. Well done.

Kaufandman

one day all GCSE and A-level results will be voted for by members of the public in another slice of schlock big brother-style reality holovision programming.

this is the future. i have seen it.