The yoof of today. They’re just too brainy for their own good. Take Peter and Paula Imafidon, a pair of twins from Waltham Forest. They both just passed a GCSE in statistics. Age six.
When we were six, the closest we got to statistical expertise was assessing the likelihood of getting caught taking a leak in the park. Actually, that’s still about the extent of it.
Meanwhile, at the other end of town, another pair of twins are celebrating an A* bonanza. Jonathan and Andrew Hackett of Richmond College amassed 20 top grades between them.
Then there’s Princess Eugenie, who despite the disadvantages of inbreeding managed two A*s, four As and three Bs.
Elsewhere, 16 year-old Anne Mullan managed 16 GCSEs at grades A or A*. How do you manage to study 16 subjects? Like, how many ologies are there? Her relatively underachieving classmate Sarah Crosby “also managed a haul of 16 GCSEs - three A*s, ten As and three Bs”. Thicko.
Londonist remains happy with our single grade F from the University of Life. It’s the taking part that counts.