Lord have mercy on us this morning. We have sore heads today and we long for a Jeeves-type to bring us a relieving miracle tonic for the pounding ache that is brought on by over-indulgence in the gratis glasses of Hendricks, the finest gin Old Albion can offer. You see, we went along to the Chap Olympics last night, and golly, we had a good time.
Lots of jolly fellows were competing and we shouted "Bravo!" and "Hurrah!" as loudly as we dared at the assembled athletes but quietened down during the lighting of the ceremonial pipe and raising of the Union Jack. The Hendricks trophy was gleaming and a most glorious prize indeed for the best chap of them all.
The nail-biting Martini Relay Knockout was the first event (Nanny would be so angry to see the state of our cuticles...) followed by the absolutely ripping Bounders. In our picture, you can see the fastest-moving cad being slapped by the lovely lady who was allowed away from her governess for the day for these Olympics.
The Cucumber Sandwich Discus Throwing was an enjoyable event but some sort of altercation had taken place with a bally fool of a fellow raising his voice to express obscenities about the competing fellow's sainted mother - a bad show, a bad egg. It's really not on. But like any decent athlete the discus thrower continued with an admirably stiff upper lip.
We went home rather tipsy much to the disgust of mater and pater but it is the Long Vac for us boarding school types, so they needn't have been quite so beastly to us on our return. After all, we only see this glorious event once a year and we should be allowed to have as much fun as we like supporting our fellow chaps. There aren't many left of us, you know. The Chap Olympics 2006, in association with Hendricks Gin: tip-top and simply ripping.