Defecation's What You Need...

If you tread the boards at this Pentonville Road acting school, you might want to be careful where you put your feet. We weren't sure if this fecal equivalent of RADA is a college for turning little shits into thespians, or a method-acting school that specialises in the extremely niche area of simulating the act of excretion on stage. Is the turdsome hue of the building deliberate? Are those white bags full of hardened fudge nuggets? And are the pupils regularly discharged?

Sadly, the truth is more prosaic.