So many West End shows, so little time. There's such a deluge of theatre land rumours at the moment it's difficult to keep up.
Only yesterday we were met by the...erm, overwhelming news that Ridley Scott's Gladiator is on its way to becoming a musical:
The Oscar-winning film, which starred Hollywood hardman Russell Crowe, will be adapted for the stage by William Nicholson, who wrote the original screenplay. The original Hans Zimmer score will be used, but Crowe will not be reprising his role as Maximus Decimus Meridius. Brian Stokes Mitchell will take on the part instead.
Ah yes, Brian Stokes Mitchell, star of The Fresh Prince and Ghost Dad.
Then, just as we had finished reeling from this glorious nugget, along comes the revelation that Withnail and I is also to grace a West End stage:
The cult film, which launched Richard E Grant's career, is being turned into a West End play which - if all goes according to plan - will star one of our foremost matinee idols: Jude Law.
(That was us spitting out our water.)
Jude Law? Jude 'two expressions' Law? Jude 'nanny shagger' Law? Jude 'if I move my hands a lot does that count as acting' Law?
Way to ruin one of the best English films of all time.
Here's an idea: why not combine the two plays into one? It'll save money and will feature pissed up Roman warriors killing each other, with large chunks of Hamlet dialogue thrown in. We'd pay to see that, especially if Brian Mitchell (star of 1979's Trapper John MD) gets to decapitate Jude Law.