29 March 2017 | 13 °C

I really need to be alive

By sizemore Last edited 130 months ago
I really need to be alive
chest pain.jpg

Where's the best place to have a heart attack?

Turns out it’s in a hospital operating theatre.

Where's the best place to have life saving heart surgery?

Turns out it's in the hospital operating theatre where you collapsed so surgeons can use the equipment that you just fixed prior to falling over clutching at your chest:

An engineer collapsed with a heart attack in an operating theatre just moments after fixing hospital equipment that was used to save his life... Surgeons then used the heart machine - fixed by Mr Mayor - to scan his arteries, before operating on him. Later the same day, he was operated on again and fitted with a replacement valve.

See, that's lucky. When we inevitable keel over the only experts standing by will be the chap who just dropped off the pizza.

Mr Mayor though seems 'reasonably' happy at the result saying, "I really need to be alive because my children need me and my family need me, so things have worked out reasonably ok."

Next time they should throw in a blowjob and a couple of balloons.

Last Updated 03 May 2006