Perhaps in an alternate universe Diana never got to Paris and is alive and well, but serving time at her mother in law's pleasure after stabbing Camilla in the chest 17 times with the royal cutlery. That's what sprang to mind while reading about this messy little triangle:
A wife referred to Prince Charles's affair with Camilla before stabbing her husband's former lover, a court heard. Alethea Foster, 61, quoted Princess Diana's "there are three of us in this marriage" before stabbing Julie Simpson, 44, jurors were told.
Simpson still thinks this was a bit melodramatic:
"I didn't feel like a third of a marriage. I thought that was a gross over-statement, I hardly saw the man... She asked me if I loved him and I said 'Yes, but it doesn't matter, I can walk away'. I was struck with the absurdity of discussing a man with whom neither of us was having sex. I was embarrassed.
After absurdity struck so did a kitchen knife. Simpson was stabbed 17 times resulting in a punctured lung and lost the sight in one eye:
"When she was sticking the knife in me she was gleeful. When I was holding on to her arm I knew she was waiting for me to die. She was content and satisfied."
Blimey... If your better half starts muttering about what it must be like for a little boy to read that daddy never loved mummy and spends too much time around the knife rack it might be a good time to surprise them with a couple of Eurostar tickets.