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(P)review: A Tradition I Do Not Mean to Break
Rock stars eh! Travel the world, shagging supermodels and Hollywood actresses, dressing up, going to interesting places, holding down the ultimate dream job AND getting paid for it. Life must be really tough. No worrying about Council Tax rises for you lot, you just stick another single out (although don't get your family to buy all the copies, that would be silly) or do another commerical. Life's grand if you're a rock star. But can they take a joke? Can they bollocks.
Latest to this long list of over fed, over paid, mewling pussies is Jack White, and shame on you sir for being such a dick. Oh and by the way Jack, we're not going to say ANYTHING nice about you in this post, so bring it on. Sue us; sue our families and our pets. Sue the people who read this site. Sue their pets. Sue anyone who's never bought a White Stripes album and sue all the folk who have, they're the ones who really can't take a joke. And sue their pets too.
Erm, anyway. The reason for Jack's little outburst was revealed in the Independent's Pandora column this morning. Looks like Great British eccentric institution Billy Childish said a few things about not liking Jack's music in a recent GQ interview. Jumping Juggernaut Jack, reeling from the blow (they were once friends apparently), retaliated with a quick uppercut to the soul and accused Childish of garage rock bitterness. It would have been so much funnier if he'd accused him of being childish instead.
So then Aquarium gallery owner Steve Lowe (who curates much of Childish's artwork) creates a mock boxing match poster detailing the face off between bitter Billy Childish and Jack whingy White. Of course, in no way is Jack a whinger, just as well he isn't ginger, and he called in the lawyers to sue Lowe's arse so far into the ground they'll use him for the foundations of a highrise. Actually we made that last bit up, we just like to think that's how these rock star types talk to their lawyers.
The lawyers' argument is that the poster contravenes intellectual property rights, there's a tautology right there, and copies of the poster have now been taken off eBay. But you can see the whole thing, unlike our lawyer friendly version above, here, along with Billy's response to the incident which is so funny, we've copied some of it for you below:
It all smacks of jealousy to me. I have a bigger collection of hats, a better moustache, a more blistering guitar sound and a fully developed sense of humour. The only thing I can’t understand is why I’m not rich.To be honest we think the entire deal would have been much better resolved if Jack had practised his pugilistic skills once again and pummelled Childish into a bloodied pulp in a place of public execution. Alas we are to be let down by the fickle fronds of mediocrity or something like that. So we're organising a campaign to get 500 people in Billy Childish T-Shirts down the front of the next White Stripes UK gig instead. For a laugh. Anyone up for it?Yours sincerely,
Billy Childish
P.S. I always stay well within the music industries
recommended guidelines of never plagiarising more than 50% of my material. But no matter who my influences may be, I would never stoop so low as to ripping off Led Zeppelin.P.P.S I hope I have not gone and offended Led Zeppelin now.
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Supply ear-plugs and I'm there. I can't stand the White Stripes.
We're ordering some red and white ones specially
It seems you got it wrong buddy. That quote from Billy is a response to what Jack posted on his site not the poster suit. The only reason they are selling that poster is to promote Billy's art show. I wouldn't want someone using my face to promote something I don't give a shit about. I'd also like to know where you get off saying Jack is overpaid. You have no idea how much he is paid, but whatever it is he has probably earned it. He does every single thing himself and puts his heart and soul into everything he does unlike most top pop acts who are most likely getting paid more than he is. That being said, Jack needs to lighten the fuck up and get thicker skin.
Got it wrong? No, just not as clear as it could have been. And I agree that Jack's a prodigious and talented wee fucker. I saw them some years back at the Astoria and it remains one of the single most electrifying shows I've ever seen, although to be honest they've never been as good since.
I also agree that White's far more deserving of what he does earn than most of the processed pap we get these days. But I have no time for whinging pop stars, whoever they may be. These guys may work hard but no harder than millions of people across the planet who don't have recourse to huge legal teams or Hollywood lifestyles. For people like this their image does in a way become public property and they really all should have learnt by now that that's a part of the deal with the devil you make when people start buying your records.
Had White kept his mouth shut or just ignored the posters then no one would really have known about this outside of the odd Billy Childish fan, so in some ways the Stripes team could be accused of trying to garner a little extra publicity themselves out of it, knowing full well this would be picked up by the media; feeding off our love of celebrity scraps, which ironically and somewhat hypocritically we're also guilty of.
And where do I get off having an opinion? Same place we all do. Plus isn't that what blogs like this are for. No one has to agree and it's good to hear folks getting vocal when they don't. : )