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Just when you thought it was safe to spend £757m

By sizemore Last edited 135 months ago
Just when you thought it was safe to spend £757m
jaws_wembley.jpg

It's hard being the voice of doom. Being the only Londonist who thinks that sport begins and ends with Rollerball, it's difficult to say "I told you so" without it sounding like "I told you so". So when news breaks of bits of Wembley falling from above it's best not to say anything.

But now that murmurings of "From beneath you it devours" are all over the place after the cursed stadium's sewers collapsed in on themselves we have to take the unpopular Chief Brody high chair and scream SHARK!

Of course those paddling in the sea of money surrounding this death trap want you to remain calm and keep this particular beach money pit open:

"We do not believe that the drain and sewage system remedial repairs will have any impact on the completion of the stadium,''

That's pretty much what the government had to say to Professor Quatermass just before the original Wembley Stadium was hit by an alien power beam that reduced everyone inside to dust and bone fragments.

So what's the solution? Well call us old fashioned, but how about moving the whole shebang to Wales permanently? Still call it Wembley if you like and there's already some sort of football thing moved there so it makes perfect sense. There'll be plenty of parking and perhaps all the other sporting events could move there too. Imagine how nice it would be wandering around Twickenham on a summery match day if all the fans were in Cardiff...

We still want the Olympics here of course... well actually we still want the Olympics money here. Would it be possible to extend the Jubilee line say 155 miles west? Or better still, all the athletes could be driven back and forth in all those 4x4s that are currently underused in the capital. Hell, equip the damn things with battering rams, film it all Mad Max style and you've got a sport that may actually be more thrilling than curling.

Last Updated 24 March 2006