One of Londonist's secret vices is that we love vending machine coffee. The older the machine the better and the cheaper the scalding beverage the happier we are. Maybe it's something about growing up in the North where nippers regularly have their taste buds destroyed by a steady diet of black pudding and pea-wet, but we have a large happy for anything that comes out of metal box and requires little effort on our part. So we were happy to read yesterday that there's a whole new series of coin slots that we'd love to fill with our pocket shrapnel:
They used to drop packets of salt and vinegar crisps and cups of putrid coffee. But now vending machines have acquired a new range of products: mini vibrators, bottles of "love liquid" edible lubricant, silicone ticklers and "lust fingers".
Sex toys on tap. Sweet.
Alphabet Bar in London's West End was the first location to have a machine and placed it on the wall in the middle of the bar. Manager Geoff Todd says it is used daily. "Some people use it just because it's in the bar, some make a special journey, maybe because they are too embarrassed to go into a sex shop. Some buy the toys because they are a novelty, some do it for a laugh, some buy them as presents. It's been a great success."
Stick one next to the instant pizza machine near Southwark station and you have everything you need for a perfect night in.
Not that 'Catholic author' Piers Paul Read would fancy a romp in the Londonist four poster, "Sex is not a game. These toys sound horrible,". Sounds like someone is in dire need of a thick sliced 12" and a couple of butt plugs.