No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd."
- Shakespeare (Hamlet)
A very special and unique club has opened in the heart of London's Square Mile where the stress and strain of regular 12 hour days can prove too much for the bonus-raking bankers and generic high-fliers. These guys may have the four-figure bonus, they may have the fancy car, they may take home monthly salaries that look like just a pizza delivery number to lesser mortals... but, we ask you, can all that money buy you rest and the sweet, innocent oblivion of sleep, the innocent sleep, sleep that knits up the ravelled sleeve of care, the death of each day's life, sore labour's bath, etc, etc
At Shed the answer is... yes. With enough money and the right kind of membership, this exclusive private members' club for City professionals offers restful, comfortable sofas and armchairs in quiet, relaxing surroundings and many other things of a simple, unwinding nature like TV, showers, good food and good wine. For those who are really feeling the burn of the corporate lifestyle, there are Zzed Sheds - a range of private rooms for individuals to "lie down, take a nap, read, listen to music or work." How lovely.
Lovely if you can afford it, but while most of us catch up on sleep by getting to know and love the exact contours of our computer keyboards after nodding off in front of this beloved website one too many times, all the while pretending to "work" or "research", for those poor, restless souls in EC1 a good mid-morning / post-lunch nap could cost £625.00 per year in membership fees. There's a further £175.00 initial registration fee - which, even if you could pay it, does not guarantee your entry if the Membership Committee doesn't want you. London has long tried to shake off its reputation as one of the most expensive and hardworking cities in the world, but the Zzed Shed ain't helping: what does it say about this town if it's going to costs upwards of £800.00 to a have a sit down and a cup of tea then a little snooze in peace and quiet when you feel like it?
We'd rather stick to the traditional way of guaranteeing a bit of peace and quiet during a gruelling day at work: stand on a chair and announce loudly that you've got really bad PMT and just need someone to talk to about how difficult it is to feel so fat and lonely all the time, you just want someone to understand you, oh, why won't anyone come and give you a hug??? That'll guarantee an afternoon of solitude and quiet contemplation for yourself, all for the grand sum of nothing. Trust us: Auntie knows best, and you didn't want to fall in with that bunch of bankers in their swanky, minimalist, cool, exclusive private club that promises excellent and attentive service for those who make it in, really, did you?
More information about Shed and Zzed Sheds can be found here. Please note: Shed is an exclusive members club and will only admit members and their guests.