21 January 2017 | 10 °C

Save Our Statues!

M@
By M@ Last edited 131 months ago
Save Our Statues!
Eros.jpg

We’re really not liking the sound of this one. Reports out today suggest that all those statues and sculptures that have gone missing lately may be the work of one gang. And, not content with nicking lesser-known suburban art, they now have their sights set on landmark statues. Specifically, ‘Eros’.

The Piccadilly Square monument was identified by police as the possible next target. Despite its prominent location, it would be relatively easy to wrench free given the one slender ankle upon which it stands.

If true, this is an important new twist. First, because Eros is made of aluminium and not bronze, it would be practically worthless as scrap metal. This means that the statue would likely be sold to a buyer. Second, the sheer audacity of pinching one of London’s most (unfathomably) famous landmarks indicates that this is no ordinary bunch of crims. They’re after notoriety and the joys of cocking a snook at her Majesty’s Constabulary.

The statue is now under 24-hour surveillance. According to a Scotland Yard ‘source’:

Our Criminal Intelligence section has received information this gang has been eyeing up a number of famous monuments in London.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Londonist has also been doing precisely that in recent weeks. Scotland Yard: if you’re reading this, please eliminate us from your enquiries. We’re not art thieves, we’re only stalking.

Image reproduced from Wikipedia under Wikimedia Commons.

Last Updated 09 February 2006