You can file this one under WTF:
Britain has bought three military style helicopters for its Metropolitan police force for quick response to terrorist attacks and criminal pursuits.
We wish we could get away with this bollocks:
Ed: So tell me again why you each need a state of the art laptop and an open tab at the pub?
Londonist: Terrorism.
Ed: Here you go then. Better grab you a couple of PSPs too.
How would fucking about in Airwolf have helped prevent any terrorist attack? A $5 million helicopter could we suppose have turned its spotlights onto Tavistock Square to help pinpoint exactly which bus had just exploded. The loud speakers could be used to play Ride of the Valkyries really loud just to let the dead bomber know how tough we are and the heat seeking detectors could be used to... erm... detect heat. Maybe let nearby buildings know just how much money they could save on their next heating bill by getting the windows double glazed?
And we're sure that these things will be really handy for chasing regular criminals too. The times we've seen a bobby on a bicycle, with his truncheon in the air doing his best to catch up with some div from Croydon pissing about in a Russian Kamov Ka-50 gunship.
Pilots of the Ka-50 incidentally get to call their rides 'Black Shark' or 'Werewolf' ('Alligator' if they have a twin seater). May we suggest the Met pilots call their own gunships 'Blue Murder' (although it would take one hell of a pilot with Ernest Borgnine backing him up to get one of these down Stockwell tube). We also like 'Viagravator', 'Bover Hovers' and 'Holy crap that thing cost five million dollars'.
