Night of the Expensive Dead

By sizemore Last edited 140 months ago
Night of the Expensive Dead
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What does £6,140 buy you in London these days? Well if you're looking for long term accommodation and don't mind being a tad cramped then Southgate is a good bet. No garden but there's a lot of green space for visitors and friends to hang out in and the neighbours are very quiet. As the last investment you'll make it doesn't seem like that bad a deal until you compare your new burial plot with one in say Manchester where it's almost four and a half grand cheaper. Seems a bit steep and it's not like the benefits of living in London carry on after your use-by-date has expired. Let's face it, you're not going to give a toss about the theatre and nightlife once you're settled in.

So if the thought of spending so much money on something you're not going to be around to enjoy leaves you a little rattled you could always use one of our top tips:

1. Sublet. A great London tradition this. A single dwelling is often out of the single bod's price range, but chuck a couple of student nurses in and you're laughing.

2. Save money by being buried inside your coffee table.

3. Try and get yourself vapourised in a combat zone - you'll probably need an American to help you with this.

4. Become irradiated by a returning Venus probe and then let them try and bury you.

5. Don't die. This is a bit tricky, but Tebbit and Thatcher seem to have pulled it off so maybe vote Tory?

Last Updated 18 January 2006