Olympics Timetable

It was reported over the weekend that the IOC have been busy putting together "a timetable of deadlines" to meet over the next seven years in the run-up to the Olympics.

There isn't much detail on this "timetable of milestones" except for something about sponsorship plans and budgets. However Londonist can reveal that a section of the plan was leaked to us earlier today and we can now give you a sneak peek at what the IOC expects London to do over the next seven years:

• Jan 2006: Dream up a ridiculous mascot figure. Must include a skateboard and/or baseball cap to 'appeal to the kids'.
• Summer 2006: Arrange a high profile 'spat' between Girls Aloud and Heather Small over who will provide the official Olympic 'anthem'. Fistfights/wrestling would normally be encouraged but may best be avoided due to that Tweedy girl.
• November 2006: First Evening Standard article calling for resignations due to financial irregularities to appear.
• Early 2007: Realise idea for mascot figure may be offensive to certain minorities and alter accordingly.
• Summer 2007: Daily Mail article appears claiming Olympics bid win was a hoax and France 'won it after all' .
• 2008: David Beckham to reveal he's undergoing a sex change, entire process thrown into jeopardy.
• Early 2009: First Evening Standard article to use the words 'potential national embarrasment' to appear.
• February 2010: In order to boost country's morale, Daley Thompson should announce he's coming out of retirement.
• June 2010: Sebastian Coe and Ken Livingstone revealed to be the same person.
• Early 2011: First Daily Mail article to use the phrase 'Downright farcical'.
• January 2012: Every builder in the country to go on strike.
• March 2012: Daily Express article reveals Olympic mascot is a convicted rapist.