Something Better Than A White Sheet?

By Megan Last edited 152 months ago
Something Better Than A White Sheet?

A girl I’ve been seeing is hosting a Halloween party with her flatmates. So of course this means fancy dress, right? The problem is I think Halloween is rubbish and I hate costumes. But I don’t want to be uptight about it. What should I wear that will impress the girl (and especially all her friends, whom I will be meeting for the first time) but won’t make me feel like a complete twat?

Girls have it a bit easier with Halloween, as they can just slap on a load of dark makeup and a low cut dress and go as a Sexy Witch/Lady Devil/Evil Nurse, etc. Not very original, but we don’t hear many men complaining. For guys, though, if you’re trying to seduce a lady, don’t go overboard with the scary-sexy look. It's creepy. Despite what you may have seen on Buffy, most girls don’t dig vampires in that way. If you’re costume-phobic, you need an outfit that is quick to put together, low-maintenance, and, especially, something that you won’t mind still having on when you ride the tube home the next day (with any luck). It doesn’t need to be much, just enough to show that you take the party -and thus the girl- seriously enough to make a little effort.

Don Johnson in Miami Vice, a Chav, a Leftover White Box from Embankment. Humour is a good angle. We know a guy who announced to everyone that he would be coming to a Halloween party dressed as a frog, only to find the costume he had planned to buy was suddenly sold out. So instead he settled for a striped shirt, a beret, and pack of Gauloises.

A cowboy is a really good, masculine choice, and everyone already has 75% of the accessories in their wardrobe. Other simple choices: Early Elvis, Andy Warhol, Loud American Tourist. Or a Movie characters: Scarface, the priest from the Exorcist, Marty McFly. Also easy, but maybe a little cliché by now: James Bond, or certain characters from The Matrix, Reservoir Dogs, and Star Wars . But certainly go for it if you’re fit and can pull off an immaculate Han Solo. Girls like Han. (Remember he carries a blaster, not a saber.)

Our last tips are: If you’re a straight man and want to be considered cool, don’t dress as a woman, ever. And don’t wear any makeup, unless you’re positive you don’t want to make out that night. Good luck!

Please help this poor guy and give him your own Halloween tips below.

To get your own question answered, email asklondonist(at)gmail(dot)com

Last Updated 27 October 2005


I have the perfect costume that's cheap, flexible and can be used for any fancy dress party. Get one of those slightly tacky novelty T-shirts with detachable velcro letters.

For a Halloweem party, write something like 'Boo!' on it. For a Christmas party, write 'Mistletoe' on it (and see where you're kissed). For a superheroes party, write 'I came as Apathy Man'.

Works every time.


If you want to go dressed as a Star Wars character then you could follow this example of how to dress up like an
AT AT walker


And if you're a dog, here are a few amusing ideas:

john k

1. Take one box of square tea bags.
2. Staple all tea bags together in a sandwich board type formation.
3. Place over head and wear as a vest.

Viola. You are a manatee. (man-o-tea, geddit?).

just don't spill your drink down yourself or you'll start to brew.


Here's another cheap one:

get the little cereal boxes from the store, pin them to yourself, stick plastic knives in them.

you're a "cereal" killer.

Betsy Markum

I can't believe it, my co-worker just bought a car for $26256. Isn't that crazy!