What the Bellamy is going on with our fauna? Over the past few weeks, we’ve brought you tale after tail concerning the increasingly exotic nature of the capital’s wild animals. To recap, we’ve had the Beast of Bexley, the crocodile-turtle type thing in the River Lea and a plague of
red-eared terrapins in Mill Hill.
And most recently of all, we highlighted the Amazonian giant centipede (Scolopendra gigantean), which ‘shocked’ Islington resident Aaron Balick found behind the back of his TV.
Now once is a happenstance, twice is a coincidence, three times is a conspiracy. But four exotic animals in just two months…well, that starts to look very suspicious. Smelling a rat, and assorted other creatures, we dusted off the Londonist large-scale A-Z. What we discovered left us shell shocked. Plotting the locations of the four types of beast leads to the perfectly straight line you see in the illustration above.
What can it all mean? A nexus of animal-kind? A harbinger of Armageddon? An axis of weevil? If further evidence be needed, this ley line of flamboyant creatures passes suspiciously close to the north of Hampstead Heath, where flocks of escapee parakeets are commonly found.
Well, admittedly, we’ve been going a bit heavy on the caffeine lately, but something fishy is going on here. We’d be feeling a little edgy if we were living in Golders Green or Stepney right now.
The conspiracy starts here…