My best friend's boyfriend is such a bore. As much as my other friends and I try to be nice and engage him in conversation, he always manages to drain the life out of the evening. She claims he's "the one," but I know she can do better. If I tell her though, I'm afraid she'll get defensive. What to do? —CB
You seem to be asking for permission to tell your friend her boyfriend sucks. You may feel great getting that off your chest, but you can then likely kiss your friendship goodbye. C’mon, how hard have you tried to get to know this guy, really? Are you sure he’s boring, or do you just think so because he doesn’t down as many tequila shots on Friday nights as you do? Perhaps he’s just shy, overwhelmed by your close group of friends, and intimidated by your probably very obvious judging of him. Make him more comfortable. Maybe hang out with his friends one night instead of yours. Try not to be mean to him because he’s stealing away your best friend. There has to be a reason he caught her eye, and if you want to keep this friendship you’d better figure out what it was. If, after all your best efforts, you really don’t get on with him, still don’t say anything to your friend. It doesn’t matter if you think she can do better. It’s her life she wants to spend with him, not yours, and she’s not going to listen to you anyway.