28 March 2017 | 6 °C

Gimme (Solarpowered) Shelter

By sizemore Last edited 138 months ago
Gimme (Solarpowered) Shelter

It's just a shot away...

Mr Burns once said "Mankind has always dreamed of destroying the sun" and while we finally have world leaders capable of doing just that, Transport for London will be hoping they leave off for a little while so as not to spoil their latest scheme - solar powered bus shelters.

Green energy stored in batteries during the day will illuminate timetables and the stops themselves so drivers can spot queuing passengers easily.

A good tip for any bus drivers reading this is that you can generally spot queuing passengers if you actually bother to stop at the bus stops. The clue is in the name. Bus. Stop.

So it'll add to the light pollution but at this point who cares? The last time Londoners saw the stars was sometime back in 1956.

If we are going to drop £7.9m on this idea though can we also please design some ticket machines that actually work and don't just steal your money every time your Oyster card has run low? Maybe also attach a large rubber baton to the ones on New Oxford Street to help tourists fend off the helpful drug addicts who mistake them for some kind of novelty fruit machine.

We understand that this is actually a downgraded scheme from one last year in which the power of artificial black holes was to be used to power the new line of bendy buses - that experiment failed when three of them caught fire and one (the number 521 to London Bridge) was inexplicable located to a low orbit around one of Jupiter's moons.

Last Updated 22 September 2005