What to get the man who has everything? Well, it's only an aside in this BBC report about the illegal trade in wild animals, but apparently there's a live gorilla for sale somewhere in London. According to the International Fund for Animal Welfare, all sorts of endangerous - not to mention somewhat dangerous - wildlife can be found for sale on auction sites such as Ebay.
So if you like your Tibetan antelope fresh and the oven-ready stuff from Tesco is no substitute, then you know where to go. However, the tiger cubs may prove reluctant to be flushed down the toilet after the novelty wears off, so buyer beware.
Obviously, this "monkey business" (yes, we're sorry, we're sorry) is deplorable and should be stamped out, but this question of the gorilla in London is an intriguing one. Whereabouts might be be? Kong's Cross? Macaqueton? Bermanzee?