24 May 2017 | 12.5 °C

Big Brother: Science Has Failed Our World; Spirit Pulls Through All Things

By Jo Last edited 142 months ago
Big Brother: Science Has Failed Our World; Spirit Pulls Through All Things
d54_1315_scienceargue_2.jpg

So Orlaith the weepy pixie is still in, and Citizen Science, man of the future, is out. Only half a percent difference, apparently. Well, whatever. Fuck you, Great British Big Brother voting public, fuck you. Was it bad thetans that made you vote against Science-tology? Was Xenu or whatever the fuck he’s called secretly influencing your thoughts from his magic multi-dimensional spaceship in Alpha Centauri? Well, whatever, fuck you.

Big Brother is going to be barren as shit now that Science has been turfed out. Who is going to prick Derek’s pompous puffball of smirking self-love? Who is going to make Orlaith cry? Who is going to bait vapid git Ant-knee? Watching Science interact with Anthony was like watching an elephant be attacked by a school of piranhas; Ant-knee-elephant lumbered around shrieking inanely while the Science-piranhas moved in for the kill. Who, now, is going to give the House its edge? Once again, Great Britain, screw you. Really. This Londonist is disgusted, outraged, upset, and secretly wondering if Science is going to set up a cleaning business, and if so, whether he can remove the foot-thick pile of shite from the Londonist dungeon floor. And wash the Londonist chicken goujons, too. Because, you know, washing chicken has been SCIENCE-TIFICALLY PROVED (har har) to eradicate germs.

Darling Davina was well mean to our kid on his exit video, too; yes, he was argumentative, and yes, he’s on the Londonist list of ’10 people not to invite into the bunker in case of nuclear holocaust’ (he sits snugly between Margaret Thatcher and Jimmy Carr), but really, Dav, did you have to be so rude? OK, maybe Science was venturing into tinfoil conspiracy theoryland with his dark mutterings on the subject of a House consensus on ignoring him, but still, compared to the relatively friendly reception Vanessa got, was a little compassion not in order?

It’s all too much. Let’s give Science, the man himself, the last word on Maxwell, Anthony and Craig: "It’s Tweedledum, Tweedledee and Tweedletwat". Truly, was there ever a better housemate?

Last Updated 23 July 2005

Sarah

Yes the weep pixie sadly won through! What a sad day. Still we can always hope, as she has promised, that "I'll walk if I'm still here next week!"

What are people thinking! Don't they appreciate Science and his housemate-baiting frothy rants!

It's a probably a good thing that Hollywood don't ring up the "Great" British public when they need some help on the plot-lines for… hmm… Titanic (well maybe Titanic) or the Usual Suspects or pretty much anything that has the potential to be even remotely exciting or entertaining. Grr.

Religion

Yes he was a spunky ghetto hood but also a pain in the butt in Sevenoaks and just had to go.

Good on him for winding the house up, but his 1 dimensional approach to conversation by shouting was just too teed.

Let him go back to his boyz and become a legend in his own head.

Jo

Science will always be a legend to me! If only because I get the sneaking suspicion he's the only person in the world who could out-talk me. He said things that needed to be said and I am honestly fascinated to see what he'll do next. Sarah, I totally agree with you re Orlaith and the UK public's need for blandness. It's a terrible shame. Religion (ha, like what you did there), maybe it was his time to go ... and at least we'll get to see Orlaith bitching about how mizzers she is, ha.

Kudos

Science turned me from the biggest hater of big brother to it's biggest fan! No he is gone I remeber why I want I hated it so much. He is a legend that will be missed. I am praying he gets a TV show or atleast releases some records.

lauren

i sooooooo want anthony 2 win coz he iz sooooo fit