The Ultimate Syndrome

By sizemore Last edited 156 months ago
The Ultimate Syndrome

Straight people don't know, what you're about... They put you down and shut you out

After running into Kelly Osbourne at the She Makes War gig on Sunday night Londonist was wondering what the latest news was with her dear old dad. It turns out that Ozzy has finally been diagnosed with Parkin syndrome meaning that the shakes that have afflicted him for years (and have been a source of amusement for unfunny wankers like that dickhead on Dead Ringers) are nothing to do with drug or alcohol abuse:

"I'd always assumed it was the booze and stuff... Now I've found it all stems from the family... a doctor in Los Angeles tried to tell me I had multiple sclerosis. And I believed him until I had a second opinion. When I told my sisters she said, 'Not you as well? Mum had that and Auntie Elsie and your grandma.' I'm like, 'Thanks for f**king telling me'. Me walking around thinking I've got some drug paralysis."

Turns out that Ozzy will now have to take daily medication for the rest of his life to combat the involuntary tremors associated with the condition.

We're not too worried as Ozzy seems pretty indestructible and we're quite happy for him to continue milking MTV executives for as long as he lives. The man gave us some of the best music ever recorded which in our eyes gives him the right to do whatever the hell he wants. Anyone who takes the piss out of the guy does nothing but show their own lack of understanding and should be forcibly placed in a room and played Vol 4 twenty-four hours a day for a year.

Last Updated 10 May 2005

Nigel Welling esq

Dead Ringers is fantastic.
The impressions are excellent. The writing is hilarious, and they do a good job keeping the show and sketches fresh.
Unlike some other miserable third rate pseudo-hacks I know of. Who don’t really have any material of quality at all. Like you for instance, Mikey boy.
Ozzy Osborne and his litter..sorry, I mean ‘family’ deserve to have the piss taken out of them at every opportunity.
Opening their home to a camera crew – showing off their goods to the whole world.. they do it to themselves.
AND - Ozzy hasn’t made a good record in 20 years – his daughter can’t sing either. A singer once said he couldn’t work with
Sharon Osborne because of medical reasons.. “she made me sick”.. enough said. Didn't Londonist point out that Sharon has two kids in and out of Rehab... and somehow she's mum of the year in the ASDA ads?

So lets recap.

Dead Ringers cool.
You – whiny little ineffectual pratt.
Ozzy – has been – family mad.

End of story.

So long,


Ozzy the 'has been' beats Nigel the 'never been' every time.

As soon as Dead Ringers come close to the glory of 'Iron Man' I'll change my mind about it.

And yep it's a hardship keeping topical when you're being satirical about Location Location Location.

You stick to the idiot box and I'll keep my miserable third rate pseudo-hacking online where it belongs.

ps Your name is Nigel.

Ozzy Defender

Dude, Ozzy is cool. He ain't no fool. Anybody dissin' him is full of BULL!

Is it that Nigel again?

Your attempt at a comeback was lame. They are always lame.
Iron man the album and Dead Ringers the TV show have nothing in common. You can't really compare the two.
That’s like saying "War and Peace is so much better than this months edition of Cosmo". Normal people wouldn't make stupid comparisons like that.
I had to, just to illustrate my point. You did so because you are actually stupid. Agreed?

So lets recap – again.
Ozzy has his merits. One or two good albums and it’s easy to laugh at the big wobbly mass of idiocy.
Prince of Darkness. pish... fnn. kkk. har har har. If he’s the prince of darkness then there is really nothing to fear from Darkness at all.

Dead Ringers, good television show. I suspect you just added the little jab at them because you could.
You’re so mean. Maybe you are the prince of darkness. meanie. Mikey the meanie.
I’m really curios. Is it because you were not breastfed? you know... this whole anger thing.
I know a few grumpy old men, and they rock. You’re just a pathetic twat with nothing real to say, so you complain about
crap things like Iron man being better than a tv show.

Enough talk.

This is your buddy Nigel (if it is even my real name, you dink)

So long


Dude, Iron Man isn't an album. It's the 4th track on 1971's 'Paranoid'. I'll forgive the oversight though as I'm guessing by the way you string your comments together that you were born 20 years or so after it came out.


just goes to show how not caring can lead to so many mistakes.

thanks for the correction.

Ozzy Defender

I’m really curios.

You are? You're really a bunch of knick-knacks? You're tchotchkes? You're trinkets?


hey buddy.. lay off the hippy crack