It's not every day you pick up the venerable Times to find an article evangelising about the "the Alpine meadows of the thigh region" or the "the exposed belly-button, plus its mandatory side-platter of belly, hip, rib and buttock crevice"!
But today it seems Richard Morrison cannot help but pen an ode to "the eternal glories of the female body". You see, it's summer, and there's "so much female leg, tit, tum and butt" on display for "the wandering male eye on the Northern Line some mornings (with much of this saucily flaunted flesh being sun-kissed, or at least bottle-kissed, to a delectable honey-gold hue) that it’s damn difficult for a chap to keep his mind on his su doku."
Quite. So is there a point to this article Dick, or are you just planning a move to the Daily Sport and thought you might as well get some practice in?
Apparently what Dick is trying to point out (in his rather contrived and perverted way) is that men view women differently than women view women (well, duh) and this hypothesis is evident in the new 100 Most Beautiful Women of the 20th century exhibition at Selfridges (we told you it was contrived).
The list has been compiled by Harpers and Queeen and (according to Dick) has obviously "been compiled mostly by females for females" because it includes peopel like Virginia Woolf, Barbra Streisand, Vanessa Redgrave (pictured), and Maria Callas.
Dick manages to dig his grave even deeper by going on to generalise the entire male sex: "men are incapable of assessing female beauty in any other way [than sex appeal]" and then, somehow, manages to make it even worse:
There are men around who also judge a woman’s beauty by such pure, Platonic measurements. I’m thinking interior decorators, hairdressers and Judy Garland devotees here.
Can Londonist suggest that you ignore Dick's bigoted ramblings and just take a trip down to Selfridges and make your own mind up about the list. The images are provided by Getty, so they'll be good if nothing else.
By the way - this is what Richard Morrison looks like. Try and control yourself ladies.