Science At Work

By london_euan Last edited 228 months ago
Science At Work
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Sometimes scientists don't really do themselves any favours when it comes to combating their negative stereotyping as grant-obsessed-reality-dodging-ivory-tower-stoner-eggheads.

A crack research team at Queen Mary University of London has conclusively proved that a Credit or Bank card is the optimum tool for playing scratch cards.

We can just see how that particular research direction was chosen:

"Oh man, you know how we were going to get that new electron microscope?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well I've just blown the budget for it on scratch cards."

"Dude!"

"I know, I totally thought one of them would come in, I worked out the odds on my scientific calculator and everything."

"We're so screwed, unless..."

To flesh out this decidedly light-weight scientific project, timed to coincide with the 10th anniversary of the Lottery scratchcard, Professor David Dunstan's team also discovered that "the five pence piece, at a low leading angle, such as 30 degrees, stands out as the best coin to use due to its rough serrated edges."

This is of course at odds with early research done by a group of MIT scientists in the US who proved that using the end of your cigarette lighter and muttering under your breath "I've got a really good feeling about this one" is the best method.

Last Updated 22 March 2005