What should have be a great event, full of promise for the future, hinting at a better life for us all, was marred by tragedy last night when a man was stabbed at the opening of a new Ikea superstore.
Swedish mega-company Ikea opened it's new store in Edmonton North London at midnight last night but instead of people marvelling at the functional design and sensible pricing, it quickly turned to chaos as over 4000 people turned up and sensing that they may not get their Oppala Easy Chair at the advertised discounted price, decided to ignore the cornerstone of order in any civilised society, the well ordered queue.
This obviously leads to mayhem and yobbery, and at 1.30am a man in his 20s was knifed. He is now in a stable condition, while 20 other people were treated for heat exhaustion and minor injuries.
Bargain hunters had already begun to abandon their cars on the North Circular due to congestion, and eye-witnesses, in between mouthfuls of tasty Swedish meatballs said that there wasn't enough security to cope with the crowds, some of whom had been queuing since 6pm.
The store is closed until further notice.