By The Powers Of Livingstone!

The Londonist isn't one to scare easy, but news that London Mayor Ken Livingstone is out to "increase his powers" sent a genuine shiver down our spine.

Not content with wanting to collect every major sporting event known to man with the fervour of a single, 35-year-old, action figure devotee, Ken is hell bent on eliminating all smoking in London.

To achieve this he is pushing the Government to pass additional powers that will allow him to extend his already succesful ban on smoking in black cabs.

If this is unscucessful the Londonist understands that he will then attempt a scientific experiment (probably with dangerously high levels of radiation) that will go awry, causing him to mutate to one hundred times his size before he begins rampaging through the city drop kicking non-compliant Londoners outside the M25, or at least the North Circular if the wind is against him.

We worship our newly enlarged, all powerful, democractically elected mayoral overlord.

Fear him.